


Heart to Heart

by daydreamsonacloudyday



Series: Charlotte "Charlie" Shepard [19]
Category: Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-09
Updated: 2018-07-12
Packaged: 2019-06-08 00:30:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,754
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15231417
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/daydreamsonacloudyday/pseuds/daydreamsonacloudyday
Summary: Charlie encounters a Cerberus Phantom.





	1. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Charlie encounters a Cerberus Phantom

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This takes place during the N7: Communications Hub mission. The cybernetic enhancements Cerberus gave Charlie are mentioned, & you can read about them [HERE](http://daydreamsonacloudyday.tumblr.com/post/125268550210/when-cerberus-rebuilds-charlie-they-dont-just)

"Are you thinking what I’m thinking?" Charlie asked quietly, watching as the Cerberus Phantom in the next room activated her tactical cloak and blurred out of view.

"I hope not," Garrus replied, voice low. His mandibles twitched. "Shepard, they’re ninjas on speed."

Snorting, Charlie glanced at him from across the entrance to the hallway. "And I’m a cybernetically enhanced N7 marine who can hold her own. Hell, I’ve faced reapers alone. I’ve punched a _yahg_. And a brute! I’ll be _fine_."

" _Shepard._ "

"Oh for fuck’s sake," she whisper-shouted at him, peeking back out around the edge of the entryway, "she’s either going to shoot at me from afar which will reveal her position, or come in close which will reveal her position." Charlie pulled her Paladin pistol from her thigh holster and her tactical knife out of it’s sheath and rolled her shoulders. "Either way, I’m taking her out while you get in that room and deactivate Cerberus’ last hacking device. Understood?"

Garrus sighed, mandibles flaring. "Understood, Shepard." He readied his rifle and took a deep breath, ready to dart out into the hallway once she started her distraction. "Be careful."

Nodding, Charlie swiftly stood and moved from her cover, stepping out into the hallway. Ignoring the distant sounds of the rest of her team fighting off Cerberus goons, she cut her connection to her comms and focused on the immediate area around her, listening for the slightest sound that was out of place. She moved slowly towards the next room where the device was located, her keen eyes taking in every detail around her, her breaths slow and steady.

The hair on the back of Charlie’s neck was standing up, and she could feel the adrenaline coursing through her veins in preparation for a fight. She was almost to the next rom when she finally saw what she was looking for—the faint, barely there distortion of light in the air caused by a tactical cloak.

Of course, the fact that she was even _seeing_ the cloak meant that the Phantom was practically on top of her, and Charlie reacted immediately, twisting and dodging out of the way as the twisted mirage rushed towards her.

Charlie shot at the moving blur with her pistol as she whirled around. The shot hit the Phantom’s shields, and her cloak dropped, fully revealing the other woman to her. Holstering her pistol, Charlie tightened her grip on her knife, the Phantom settling into a deep crouch, palm blaster forward, sword drawn behind her.

The blaster in the Phantom’s palm began to glow, and Charlie rolled forward to avoid the blast, swiping at the woman with her knife. The Phantom elegantly flipped away, legs arcing out and up as she moved. The moment she was on her feet, she was slashing at Charlie with her sword.

Charlie dodged each slash, keeping just out of reach of the Phantom’s blade. After her flurry of strikes, the Phantom used the boosters in her boots to launch herself up and over Charlie, flipping in the air like a trapeze artist in a circus—not a Cerberus-made weapon.

Having enough of the cirque-du-bullshit, Charlie whirled around fast, readying to strike. Before the Phantom landed, her fist connected with the Phantom’s chest, the force behind the cybernetically enhanced blow sending the other woman slamming back into the wall, a loud thud echoing in the corridor.

The Phantom took the hit well, bouncing back quickly as Charlie stalked over to her, ready to strike again. Their fight continued much the same, the quick, agile Phantom a flurry of slashes and movement around Charlie who mostly dodged them, waiting for the opportunity to strike. The Phantom was fast, _really_ fast, but so was Charlie—she could keep up, and she wasn’t going to tire quickly.

Her moment came when the Phantom tried to slice her across the face with her sword. Charlie instinctively pulled her head back, eyes wide as she watched the blade move past her face. The Phantom’s momentum had her spinning around, stepping backwards towards Charlie as she brought down her sword for another strike. In a flash, Charlie stepped forward, driving her knife into the Phantom’s back before the other woman could properly finish her attack.

Snarling, the Phantom stepped away from the knife, and then activated her tactical cloak, disappearing in a second.

"Shit," Charlie muttered to herself, breathing heavily. She wiped her sweaty brow with the back of her hand, the Phantom’s blood on her knife glinting in the dim light of the hallway. She focused on her surroundings again, thinking of what the Phantom’s next move would be. The Phantom would heal herself as best she could, and then she’d be—

Before she could even finish the thought, she noticed _more_ of the Phantom’s blood in the hallway. Small droplets of it, starting from where the other woman had been in front of her just a moment ago moved down the hallway a few steps. Then, it cut back towards where it started, the drops getting smaller and smaller.

A new wave of adrenaline pulsed through her at the realization of what it meant, and Charlie spun around. Her eyes met the glowing slits on the Phantom’s helmet as a searing, sharp pressure shot through her chest.

Glancing down, Charlie watched the Phantom pull the sword from her chest, her own dark blood starting to stain her undersuit and armor. Pain exploded in her chest as she breathed, and she desperately grasped at her chest, falling to her knees. Eyes blurring as she struggled to breathe, Charlie reached for her pistol.

If she was going down, she was taking that bitch with her.

\- . - . - . - . -

Pure, frozen _terror_ bloomed within Kaidan as he stared at the sight before him, the sound of his own rapid heartbeat washing out all others around him. His breath rushed out of him as he watched the Phantom pull the sword from Charlie’s chest, her eyes wide as she stared down at it. She grasped her chest and fell to her knees, and that’s when he snapped into action, his cold fear turning into a burning, ruthless rage.

He ran at them, James right behind him, the familiar buzz of his biotics tingling over his skin. With a flick of his wrist, the Phantom was enveloped in a mass effect field, lifted off the ground away from Charlie. James ran to his commander’s side while he applied his concentration to the field around the Phantom, starting to shift its mass—raising and lowering it, over and over, faster and faster. Kaidan ignored the press of a migraine at the back of his skull, focusing only on his goal to end the Phantom. Before long, the woman was screaming, the shifting mass effect fields of his biotics ripping her apart, until the sound stopped. She was dead.

His biotics fizzled out, and a wave of exhaustion washed over him, but he pushed past it, immediately turning his attention to Charlie. She was lyingdown, Garrus scanning her while James applied medi-gel to the wound on her chest.

"… collapsed lung, and oh crap," Garrus was saying, mandibles flaring. "It pierced her heart."

Garrus’ words rang in Kaidan’s head as he dropped to the ground beside Charlie, immediately scanning her for himself. His chest tightened and his stomach fell—Garrus was right. The Phantom’s sword had pierced Charlie’s heart.

"We need to get her to Chakwas, _now_ ," Kaidan ordered, swallowing hard pass the lump in his throat.

At the sound of his voice, Charlie moaned, reaching for him, and James moved over, letting Kaidan hover over her closer.

"Kaidan, I—" she started, struggling for air, her face pale, eyes wide with fear as her breaths came in short, desperate pants.

"Hey, Charlie, relax," he breathed, cradling her into his arms, knowing the dark abyss of space she was recalling. Kaidan stood with her in his arms, immediately moving out of the hallway as James and Garrus called for Cortez and the shuttle over the comms. "It’s okay, I’ve got you."

"I can’t… I can’t b-breathe," she forced out, her eyes fluttering closed.

"Hey, hey, Charlie!" he called out, shaking her against his chest. "Stay with me, don’t close your eyes, okay?"

"I… I love—" Coughing, blood sputtered out of her mouth, and she went limp in his arms, the faint wheezing coming from her the only indication that she was still alive.

Kaidan blinked back tears and the shaking that threatened to overtake him and let out a breath of relief when Cortez finally landed the shuttle for them.

He only hoped they could get Charlie to Dr. Chakwas in time.

\- . - . - . - . -

The Normandy was exploding. All she could do was watch as her ship was destroyed, watch as she slowly died with it, unable to breathe as she was whisked through space towards the planet below. Her lungs hurt, _burned_ without air, and she clawed at her suit, desperate to get it open, even though that wouldn’t help. There was no air in the cold, dark vacuum of space—that was precisely the problem.

Charlie shot upwards, her eyes flying open as she inhaled a deep breath of air, her heart racing in her ears. A warm hand reached out and held her face as her heart and lungs tried to calm from their frantic, erratic rhythms, and she closed her eyes, leaning into the comfort of that steadying hand.

"Shh, you’re okay, Charlie," came Kaidan’s smooth, familiar voice. "You’re here, you’re okay." Nodding, she swallowed past her constricted throat and placed her hand over his. Charlie opened her eyes and met hiswhiskey gaze, letting his presence help calm her.

As her body relaxed and the nightmare faded into the recesses of her mind, the pain in her chest lingered and she frowned. That’s when she realized she was in the medbay and everything came flashing back to her.

"Oh fuck," she groaned, putting her hand on her chest. She glanced down, barely registering the medical gown they’d changed her into before her eyes were on Kaidan’s again, her brow furrowed. "What happened with the mission? And Sato?"

Kaidan pulled their hands from her face and intertwined their fingers, his thumb soothingly stroking the back of her hand. "The mission was fine. Garrus deactivated the last device while you were fighting the Phantom. Hackett’s already been debriefed."

"Good," Charlie breathed, settling back into the pillows of the bed. "What about Sato? Cortez got to her, right?"

"Yeah. She wants to be transferred to a nearby Alliance station."

"That’ll be helpful."

"It will. She’s a tough one."

Humming in agreement, Charlie sighed, staring up at the ceiling of the medbay. She took in a deep breath before looking down at the medical gown again and returning her eyes to Kaidan.

"So… how bad was it?"

His brows drew together, mouth pressed into a thin line as he returned her gaze with those beautiful brown eyes. She hated seeing him upset like this because of her, but they were at war, and war brought casualties…

"The sword," he began, his voice pulling her out of her thoughts, "it went straight through your lung… It pierced your left ventricle, too."

"Wait—she stabbed me _in the heart_?"

"Yeah. Your lung collapsed, and there was a lot of internal bleeding." Kaidan looked down to their hands, twisted together and resting on the bed, and he placed his other hand over hers as well. "There was a moment when… when I wasn’t sure you were going to make it," he finished, his voice thick with emotion as he met her gaze again.

" _Fuck_." Charlie let out a shaky breath and swallowed hard. "I don’t get it. Cerberus put a shit-ton of cybernetics around my heart and lungs. I don’t even know how that bitch got through my sternum!"

Kaidan let out an exasperated laugh, shaking his head, and Charlie rolled her eyes.

"I’m being completely serious here, Kaidan. I have super cybernetic bones."

"And you have softer spaces between your super bones" he shot back. "She caught you right between the ribs. Still, without the rest of the cybernetics… they kept you alive until doc was able to patch you up."

Grunting, Charlie lifted up the collar of the medical gown and glanced down at her chest. There was a small bandage slightly off the center of her ribcage, just over the top of her left breast. "That’s a tiny ass bandage. Doesn’t look like she did much."

"She wasn’t going to try and open you up, not with your super bones, so she managed to go in through your wounds to get to your heart and lung," Kaidan explained, the corner of his lips quirking into a tiny smile. "She also stimulated the medi-gel conduits from your cybernetics to help with the healing as well."

"Oh, so I got stabbed through the chest and then Chakwas was dicking around in there," Charlie drawled. "No wonder my chest feels like a reaper sat on it."

Another laugh escaped Kaidan’s lips as the door to the medbay opened and Doctor Chakwas herself stepped in.

"I wouldn’t call cardiothoracic surgery 'dicking around,' Shepard," she said upon entry, omni-tool out and already scanning her. Charlie just glared in response. "How are you feeling?"

"Like you were just _dicking around_ in my chest."

Chakwas snorted. "Well, you’re welcome for that. Now that your heart and lung are repaired, your cybernetics will slowly release medi-gel over the next few days to speed your recovery. Without that, you’d be bedridden for much longer."

"The wonders of modern medicine," Charlie droned.

"You truly are a horrible patient."

"I know." Charlie sighed and glanced to Chakwas. "But thank you, though. Seriously, I appreciate it."

"Of course, Shepard," the older woman replied, finishing up her scans. "You’ll need to stay here for overnight observation."

"Fucking wonderful."

"I’ll keep you company," Kaidan said, speaking for the first time since the doctor entered the room. Charlie grinned at him, and Chakwas turned her attention to him as well.

"No fooling around. She needs to rest."

"I know, Doc."

"Very well. I’ll leave you two alone, then." With a final warning look, Chakwas stepped back outside the medbay. The moment the doors closed behind her, Kaidan was up out of his seat and crawling into the small bed with Charlie as if he’d read her mind—she wanted him close.

Scooting over as best she could, she made room for him, and he settled in beside her. She carefully turned on her side to face him, and he pulled her into his arms, until they were cuddled up together in the cramped space.

They were silent for a while, content to listen to the sounds of the ship and of each other’s breaths, but Charlie knew they had to talk about what happened sooner or later— _really_ talk about it, with emotions and all. Years ago, months even, it would have been harder, but it had become easier to share her feelings with Kaidan. It could still be hard, yes, but she knew he was always going to be there for her and never judge her. It was one of the many reasons she loved him.

"I knew it was risky going to head to head with a Phantom, but I honestly did not think I would end up with a sword in my chest. I figured I’d get hurt but not… this," she said, gesturing to herself.

"I was scared half to death when I saw her stab you," he breathed, lips moving against the top of her head.

Charlie lifted her face to meet his. "I’m sorry."

"I know you are."

"And now?"

"Relieved you’re okay," he sighed, tightening his grip on her. "What about you?"

"Me?"

"I saw the look in your eyes after you were stabbed," Kaidan explained, brows furrowed. "I know the symptoms of a collapsed lung, what it would feel like."

Nodding, Charlie swallowed hard past the knot forming in her throat at the memory. "I couldn’t breathe," she started, voice barely above a whisper. "It was like I was dying all over again, except it wasn’t like my nightmares this time, it was really happening."

"I’m sorry."

"There’s nothing you could have done."

Kaidan huffed, the puff of air tickling her face. "I know," he said, brushing a piece of her hair out of her face, "but I’m still sorry. That you had to go through that again."

A soft smile pulled at Charlie’s lips. "I may have been scared shitless, but I wasn’t alone this time. You were there," she replied, fingers curling into his shirt. "Much better than the cold, dark vacuum of space."

Kaidan released a breathy laugh. "Glad to know I’m better company than the cold, dark, vacuum of space."

Charlie snorted. "Anything’s better than the cold, dark, vacuum of space."

"I see how it is," he said, chuckling. She laughed, too, a smile on her lips, until they calmed. She stared into Kaidan’s eyes, those deep pools of whiskey and the feeling of his steady heartbeat and deep breaths under her hand lulling her into a calm that only he could provide.

"Thank you," Charlie said, keeping her gaze locked on his.

One of Kaidan’s brows raised. "For what?"

"Everything," she breathed. "Putting up with me, always having my back… staying with me in this crappy, little, cramped bed."

His eyes sparkled, a grin spreading across his lips. "I’d spend any night with you in a crappy, little, cramped bed than spend a night alone in the biggest, most comfortable bed in the entire galaxy," he replied.

"You spoil me, Major," she drawled, her smile matching his. "I love you, Kaidan."

"I know. I love you, too."

"I know."

Kaidan gently pulled Charlie back down to rest atop him, and she settled onto his chest, burying her face in his neck. He pressed a kiss to her forehead and started running his fingers over her arm, tracing over the shapes of her muscles and lines of her tattoos.

"Get some rest, Charlie," Kaidan whispered, holding her close. "I’ve got you."

Humming in content, Charlie let her eyes fall closed, further falling into that calm, peaceful place she was able to descend into in times like this with Kaidan. There were no memories of her death on her mind, no thoughts of the Phantom running her sword through her chest, no worries about the Reaper threat… just Kaidan. At peace, with only him on her mind, Charlie slept.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Charlie is finally free of the medbay after her injury.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This takes place a few days after the last chapter which is during/after the _N7: Communications Hub_ mission when she’s stabbed through the chest by a Cerberus Phantom. By the time this starts, Charlie  & co. have figured out where Cerberus headquarters is, and are heading there for the _Priority: Cerberus Headquarters_ mission. (Also, this is not as edited as much as I usually edit things, so please ignore any little mistakes.)

  
"Kaidan, for fuck’s sake, put me _down_!," Charlie shouted, flailing in the air, engulfed by the blue of Kaidan’s biotics. He was simply glowing and grinning at her as he floated her across the threshold into the cabin. "It was a joke, not a fucking challenge."

"You shouldn’t have said a _real_ biotic would have floated you everywhere."

"You do realize sarcasm is my first language, right?" she retorted, glaring at him. "If you don’t put me down right now you’re going to regret it."

Without breaking his concentration, Kaidan quirked an eyebrow at her. "What are you going to do, oh great and powerful Commander Shepard?"

"Oh, trust me, you don’t want to find out," she drawled, eyes narrowed.

Kaidan didn’t respond and simply floated her a little farther into the room. Crossing her arms over her chest, Charlie stared him down, meeting his playful gaze with an unamused one.

Without warning, she felt the tingles of his biotics suddenly fade from her body, and her heart skipped a beat when she realized she’d soon be dropping to the hard ground. Before she could even attempt to twist her body into a decent landing position, Kaidan was there, catching her in his arms.

"Very cute," she muttered, ignoring his smile and shooting him another glare as she wriggled out of his arms.

Laughing at her, Kaidan stepped close and wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling them together. She crossed her arms over her chest and stared up at him accusingly.

"You’re awfully… _happy_ given what we’re heading into."

His eyebrow quirked. "I’m not allowed to be happy you survived a sword through the heart?"

Charlie rolled her eyes. "When we get to the Illusive Asshole’s secret lair you can personally thank him for the four billion credits he paid for my cybernetics," she retorted, frowning. "Without them I’d still be in the medbay, or you know… dead… _again—_ or would it be _still_ dead?"

Sighing, Kaidan released her, running a hand through his hair.

"What?"

He shot her a look and she frowned.

"I’m sorry, I can’t be all mushy and soft right now," Charlie protested. "That murdering asshat finally led us back to TIM-my and Cerberus and this is it, Kaidan. This is the beginning of the end."

"Hey," Kaidan started, his expression soft, taking her hands in his. "With avoiding the Reapers and assembling the fleets, we’ve still got another two days until we arrive at Cerberus’ headquarters." He held her gaze, and Charlie swallowed hard. "I don’t know what’s going to happen when we get there, or when we get to Earth, but we still have time."

"Kaidan—"

"Listen to me, Charlie," he said quickly, tugging her closer, giving her fingers a squeeze. "I know you. I know what you’re thinking."

She was going to protest, but the words never made it to her lips thanks to the look in his whiskey eyes. Just by looking at them she could tell that he _did_ know what she was thinking. He knew every dark thought that had been crossing her mind since Traynor had alerted them to the fact that Kai Leng had finally stopped hopping around the galaxy and returned to Cerberus and the Illusive Man. He knew all of her deepest, darkest thoughts and fears, even the ones she barely dared to think of herself.

Kaidan let go of her hand, only to place his on her face, and she let out a deep breath, leaning into the touch. "I don’t want to focus on that right now, not yet," he continued, his other hand joining the first on her face. Right now I just want to focus on what I planned on doing with the woman I love once I finally got her alone in her quarters."

Snorting, Charlie rolled her eyes. "Of course you had plans."

"Doc _finally_ let you out of the medbay after you were _stabbed in the heart_ ," he commented. "We can finally get our _spacious_ , _comfortable_ bed back instead of the one we’ve been squeezing into."

"So you don’t want to worry about our possible impending deaths because you want to what? Cuddle?" Charlie droned, meeting his eyes again.

" _Charlie_."

She groaned, and he sighed.

"Come on. Be mushy and soft with me," Kaidan pleaded, eyes searching hers. "We’re not at the end, not yet." He punctuated his statement with a kiss, and her eyes fluttered closed when his lips met hers. It started out gentle, but by the time they parted, they were both gasping for air. His hands were still on her face, and hers hand found their way onto his uniform shirt, grabbing fistfuls of the fabric to pull him close.

"So," Charlie started, licking her lips, "if this plan of yours has anything to do with getting naked on our spacious, comfortable bed, it had better not involve _you_ being mushy or soft." She glanced down for emphasis.

Kaidan barked out a laugh. "That can be arranged."

"Good. Now kiss me again and get this plan of yours rolling, would you?" she ordered. "Before I start thinking about bad things again."

Kaidan complied, his mouth meeting hers in an urgent kiss. Before long, Kaidan had her pressed up against the fish tank, her body perfectly sandwiched between the hard glass and his firm body. Without missing a beat, Kaidan kissed down to the sensitive spot on Charlie’s neck, drawing a moan from her throat.

"Not wasting any time are you?" she asked between heavy breaths as his lips and tongue continued their assault on her neck, his hands roaming her body, pulling and tugging her close.

"No," he breathed, gently biting at the spot with his teeth, "Wanted you since I walked in on you changing out of your medical gown."

A light laugh that turned into another moan escaped her lips as he nipped her again and then ran his tongue over the spot. Charlie shivered.

"You should have said something."

"Doc made it very clear we weren’t to fool around."

"Fuck that," Charlie said, gently tugging on his hair to pull his head back. She wrapped her leg around his waist, pulling him closer, and kissed him, long and slow, dragging his lower lip between her teeth as she pulled away. "You know I don’t like following the rules."

Kaidan swallowed hard, his eyes dark. "I wasn’t going to risk your injuriesnot healing properly."

"We could have done something that wasn’t so… strenuous. I was only stabbed in the chest, the rest of me worked. Like my hands," she purred, sliding her hands down his back until they rested on his rear end.

"I’ve got hands, too," he retorted, voice thick, hands sliding to her bottom and tugging her hips to his so she could feel the beginnings of his arousal.

"I’m glad you took care of yourself, but if you’ve got your own hands, what do you need mine for?" Charlie asked innocently, lifting her hands up and leaning her arms back against the fish tank. At the same time, she wriggled against the glass to rearrange herself, making sure to rub her hips against his.

Kaidan groaned, deep from his chest, and Charlie grinned. He ducked down and kissed her neck again, sliding his hands up her arms until their hands met, and laced their fingers together against the glass of the tank. His lips traveled down to the top of her breast peeking out of her tank top, where the tip of her new scar stuck out.

"Look who’s talking," Kaidan breathed, kissing the scar, lips gently caressing the pink skin. Charlie’s answering snort turned into a breathless moan, the newly healed skin sensitive to his lips.

Satisfied with his payback, Kaidan pulled Charlie from the glass and up into his arms. She wrapped her other leg around his waist and kissed him as he carried her down the small staircase and the few steps to the bed. He plopped her down and she sat up, reaching for the buttons on his uniform shirt.

He stepped just out of reach and untucked and unbuttoned the shirt himself as Charlie watched each and every one of his movements. Bit by bit his toned, muscular skin was revealed to her. He peeled the shirt off slowly and her eyes wandered over the expanse of his chest as he kicked off his boots and socks and then pulled hers off.

By the time he crawled over her on the bed, Charlie was aching to touch him, and she _did_. Her fingers traced over the lines of muscle in his arms and torso, savoring whatever she could reach as he continued to undress and kiss her newly exposed skin.

When her tank top and bra had _finally_ been removed, Kaidan brought his focus to undressing the lower half of her body. While Kaidan’s hands worked the belt and fastenings of her pants, his mouth worked wonders on the rest of her. Charlie’s fingers raked through his hair, careful of his implant as always, as his lips, teeth, and tongue lavished her neck and breasts with attention.

Before her pants and underwear were even off her legs, his body lit the room with a blue glow from his biotics. He wasn’t doing anything specific, the blue energy a layer around his whole body, adding a buzzing, electric tingle to each of his touches, whether it was with his hands or his mouth.

"Fuck, Kaidan," Charlie groaned, legs falling open for him once they were free of clothing. Kaidan’s eyes met hers, the normal brown now tinged with blue, as he grabbed her thigh and brought his lips down to it. Charlie shivered and bit her lip as he kissed his way up the inside of her thigh, and fisted her hand in the bedsheets tighter and tighter the closer he got to his final destination.

When he got to the apex of her thighs she practically whimpered his name, and was quickly lost to the pleasure of his hands and lips. She was quickly approaching her peak, was _so close_ —her back arched, toes curled, hips lifting up towards Kaidan’s mouth—when he stopped, biotics and all.

Pressing a kiss to her pelvic bone, he slowly inched up her body, planting kisses as he moved. Charlie lay back in shock, her heart rate slowing as he kissed just below her belly button, up her stomach, between the valley of her breasts, on top of her new scar.

"You fucking _tease_ ," she muttered through broken breaths.

"That’s not part of the plan… yet," he replied, hovering his face above hers, a satisfied grin on his lips.

"Well fuck that!" Charlie pushed up and rolled them over so that she was straddling Kaidan. "I’m hijacking your plan."

Kaidan barely had time to respond before her lips were on his, her hands at the buckle of his belt. She moaned into his mouth when she tasted herself on him, and it just urged her on, making her open his damned belt and pants faster. When they were open she started shimmying them and his underwear off his hips, and Kaidan went to help, trying to kick them off, but she didn’t care if they made it off his legs or not, as long as they were out of the way.

They were definitely still around his ankles when Charlie took him in her hand and guided him into her. Kaidan moaned, his head thrown back on the pillow, fingers digging into her waist where he held her. Without waiting another second, Charlie started moving atop him, one hand grasping the headboard of the bed to steady herself, the other splayed on his abdomen.

Kaidan moved with her, keeping up with her pace, snapping his hips up to meet hers as she moved atop him. His biotics came to life again, this time unplanned and totally out of his control, and he sat up, bracing himself with one arm, the other reaching for Charlie.

Reaching back for him with her free hand, she pulled him close. Kaidan captured her lips in a sloppy, uncoordinated kiss, groaning into her mouth at the new way they moved with each other. When they broke for air, he focused his lips on her neck, peppering it and her new scar with kisses as they both approached their peaks.

Charlie came undone first, holding Kaidan tight as her body went rigid, pleasure exploding inside her, radiating out from her core to every inch of her body. She relaxed, slumping into Kaidan as he followed her, his body tensing, his grip tight, as his release washed over him as well. She felt his biotics flare, the energy washing over her before fading away, and then his body relaxed as well.

"Charlie," he breathed, voice raspy. "I love you, but I can’t hold up the both of us forever."

Huffing, she pushed back against the headboard and sat up before climbing off Kaidan and plopping down onto the bed. " _I_ could," she replied, watching with a grin as he kicked his pants and underwear off his ankles.Kaidan laughed, and they cleaned up and fiddled around in their bed until they were cuddling comfortably, with Kaidan’s body pressed behind Charlie’s, his arms wrapped around her to keep her close.

"You know, your plan failed," Charlie stated.

"Because you hijacked it."

"I mean, I am in charge on this ship."

"Aye, aye, whatever you say, _ma’am_ ," Kaidan replied, and she reached back, playfully elbowing him in the gut. He feigned pain, claiming a need to see Doctor Chakwas for serious injury, and she shook her head and laughed. When she calmed, Kaidan dipped his head, his lips finding the other new scar on her back, where the sword had cut all the way through her chest. "I love you, Charlie."

"I know." She sighed, snuggling back into him. "And you know I love you, too."

Humming in agreement, Kaidan settled in behind her, and soon enough the both of them had dozed off to sleep.

Hours later, when Charlie awoke frantic from a nightmare—heart racing, breathing uneasily, covered in sweat, mouth dry—Kaidan was still sleeping soundly beside her. She wanted his comfort, especially with their upcoming mission haunting her, but he deserved to rest. He was always interrupting his sleep to deal with her nightmares, and she wanted him to rest.

Quietly, Charlie climbed out of bed and pulled on a pair of socks and underwear. As the sweat dried on her skin she shivered, and grabbed Kaidan’s Spectre sweatshirt and pulled it on, breathing in his scent as she did so. She silently padded up to her desk and pulled out one of her various bottles of booze from her "hidden" stash underneath it, and then found her pistol in her holster on her discarded pants from before.

With the alcohol and gun she sat on the small couch so she could still see Kaidan sleeping and took a deep drink from the bottle. Charlie kept her eyes on the man she loved, trying to think about the warm, happy thoughts loving him brought to mind as she began the familiar movements of taking apart her pistol.

Since waking up from the nightmare, the dark thoughts from earlier in the night had started to creep back into Charlie’s mind. She took another swig of alcohol as the thoughts turned darker, despite her efforts to think of the positive.

Instead, she focused on the pistol in her hands and the pieces she’d already removed. Taking care of her gun was usually a soothing motion for her, something that could keep her mind occupied when there was a shitstorm raging inside it. She could only hope that once again, the age-old ritual would keep her thoughts from descending into a black hole as dark as the vacuum of space.


End file.
